Sunday, July 20, 2008

Movie predictions & warnings

Ok, time for the first movie post.

This is not so much a full review or in depth analysis of the movies, but more of a warning system as to what I perdict for the movies success and what the movie will bring to the table. This is done with a little research and a large dose of my extraordinary wisdom.

For this time I will start with the top 5 at the box office right now.

The Dark Knight $155.3M (Review) 

As I have just seen the movie, I'm not able to do up a prediction, though I'm sure even the most deluded of movie goers will say they had extremely high hopes.

I will say no more than that I was 100% satisfied with the movie and the only thing that you may want to think about before you go to it (because you know you will) is that it IS a darker movie than the first (Batman Begins) as it focuses on much more than just Batmans character this time around. Although it is not the perfect crime/ac movie

That being said I give my review of The Dark Knight as a 9 bowls o'mashed taters out of 10.

 




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Mamma Mia! (Prediction)

Though it appears to be loaded with stars, it is still just an ABBA musical.  Of course if you are a big fan of ABBA, or musicals in general, you may be able to stomatch it. That noted, I would still heartily advise dancing away from this one.

Only four heaps of the good stuff perdicted for this one.







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Hancock (Prediction)

Although inital trailers of this movie idea showed promise it quickly turned ugly upon closer inspection. The idea of a super hero that has a bad attitude and could care less about saving people did seem perfect for Will Smith to play, but it looks like someone goofed between the idea and the finished product. As multiple sources have confirmed the film has been measured and found greatly wanting I see no reason to commit the same act of folly and do not plan to support such waste of talent.

A very disappointing 3 small bowls of potato delicious-ness.







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Journey to the Center of the Earth (Prediction)

Yes, it is probably  just an adventure movie with special effects and corny lines. It is also targeted at the younger audience, but so what? If it is good movie making, decent acting and brings a somewhat orignal idea with cool effects then that makes it alot better than 90% of the junk floating about these days. I'm not saying I want to see it, but by golly if someone does go see it, then the man of large portions of wisdom shall not mock thy reasonable choice.

6/10 Tater bowls








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Hellboy II: The Golden Army (prediction)

Yes, most people seem to either not have seen the first one, or can't remember if did, but I believe this maybe one of those rare cases where the sequel is better than the original.
As of now I am solely basing this prediction on my extensive movie intuition (and a certain trusted review site), but I will go out on a limb and say that I expect.... 8/10 for mashed meat of the earth  sumptuousness! <----- (If this was not a word before, it is now.)









Now don't let all this info go to waste, heed my wisdom and we shall all reap the rewards of a finer breed of cinema!